Dieting, Eleven Times Two

Day Six: Just call me butter, ‘cuz I’m on a roll!

I appreciate the irony of the heading of this post – but aside from the fact I can have neither butter or a roll, the terminology is bang on. I am so focused and driven on this cleanse (a happy side effect – but also how I am anyway), and with how it is going and where it is taking me, that frankly, I’m starting to bore myself.

I looked at my Instagram feed last night and it’s basically leaves and pictures of me in my gym gear. Gone are the memes, powerful woman quotes and general randomness that normally makes up my feed (and shows, you know, my personality) – it’s all replaced with images akin to that within the pages of Women’s Health… and even they have fashion and make-up on the go! I do not want to be a person that has nothing else to say about myself, and if you follow this blog for long enough, I promise you you’ll see who I am outside of writing about a fucking cleanse!

I have an obsessive personality, I am very much “go all in or get all out”(as I have said many a time, as it’s a phrase I live by. That and “it will all be fine”- I digress.) and this is something that, when taken seriously, can very quickly take over your life. You have to dedicate yourself fully to the cause and basically follow it to the letter if a: you want results and b: you want to blog about it accurately ha!
I’ve signed up for this, and I’ve also decided to deliver an entry on here each day documenting my journey, and I can understand how I could quickly be perceived as being a right nause once the novelty has worn off, but it’s 9 days – and I want people who are thinking about doing a Clean 9, to read this, see it from an honest point of view – and decide if it’s something they want to do themselves. I’ve already had a number of messages asking more about it, and also a lot of ‘well done’s’ from the people who have done it themselves already – to all you guys. Thank you – it’s spurring me on!

So, onto Day Six…

I woke up this morning before my alarm went off at around 6.40am. More importantly, I woke up, and I GOT UP. That#s right, 6.40am on a Saturday morning… I’ve changed I have.

By 8am I was dressed and on my way to a spin class – something I have never, or could never have envisaged myself doing before the past month or so, but you know what, if you want change, you actually have to change your behaviour. Act accordingly, change your habits and find a better path. It’s the only way you’re going to ever get anything back.

Now – remember the first 2 days when I was horribly sick in the morning? It’s not the Aloe – it’s the Forever Therm tablets. It says in the booklet that these can be taken with free foods. Listen to me right here and now, this is not to be taken as a suggestion – you HAVE to have them with food. I thought I was getting used to the Aloe on Day 3 – turns out I wasn’t sick because I had lined my stomach with a protein shake. This morning, I didn’t have anything before my spin class – just the Aloe and the Forever Therm, and low and behold, like clockwork half an hour later I was doubled over in the street. One more time now – have that tablet with or after food! Your stomach and your local street cleaners will thank you for it.

Jenni and I did a 45-minute spin class, during which I realised how much I’ve abandoned cardio in favour of the weights of late. I’m aiming for a better shape, I’m slight AF anyway, and so any definition or ‘curves’ that I have are muscle. When I was younger I did purely cardio and wondered why I was straight up and down, then I discovered weight training – the beginnings of an ass appeared and I sacked off anything else. Today taught me that I need to balance the two, cardio is just as important as strength training, and they go hand in hand with one another. Spin hurt, but afterwards, the rush of endorphin’s that I’ve massively missed out on hit me like a truck, and I felt AWESOME – like I could take on the world – and so we went and did another 90 mins weight training. I am definitely going to feel that tomorrow, but there is something vindicating about the pain of post-workout ache for me. It shows me I am actually making a difference and creating change.

I’ve also been really struggling to hit my 600 calorie food quota – not sticking to it, reaching it. Do you know how much food you have to eat to get 600 calories on a plate and still eat healthily? It’s nigh-on impossible. After chatting with Jenni (my Clean 9 companion, amongst other things) she reminded me that you can split it into two, 300 calorie meals to make sure you’re getting them in. So I had poached eggs with avocado and wilted spinach – which was boring as fuck. I longed for some bacon and a couple of slices of toast with it, but with it hitting 268 calories on its own, I powered through and washed it down with the second shake of the day. It was, so far the least satisfying meal I’ve had during this whole process. Hell, it might even be the least satisfying meal I’ve had in my life – but it did the job. For dinner I had already decided on chicken, sweet potato and salad, then I saw this meal on Buzzfeed / Facebook, so I adapted it to fit in with ‘what I am allowed’ and it turned out to be lush (see below).


I am sleeping better, performing better throughout the day, and my usual default setting of being absolutely shattered is a thing of the past. I’m more alert because I’m well rested, and nothing anymore seems unreachable or unachievable. Because I have the energy again to do things, I can actually be bothered to do them, and it’s given me a little sense of my much sought after goal -to be my very own ‘Wonder Woman’. To do it all, be it all and have it all.

Clean 9 is not a miracle cure, it’s a way to reset and change your habits, and keep you on track to achieve your goals… My goals in life go WAY beyond what the numbers on a scale say, and if I can put my mind to, and achieve something as mentally challenging as a cleanse, with its withdrawal, dedication and determination, then I’m pretty damn sure I can achieve anything else I want in life too.

(Wonder Woman Image credit: